-sparkly banana hammock w/comic sans scrawl: “huff n’ stuff”
-glow sticks from sunday’s rave at SF Zoo ft. DJ Swami Sumant Swagga & The Detroit Dwarf Dance Troupe “Tappin’ Djabooties”
-Taco Bell napkins scribbled with B-man’s ideas for new nicknames: Shelf75, Jammasta Z, B to the To, BarZit, Mighty Mounder, Francine
-a 3lb weight
-Business card for Bay Area Life Coach Jules “Jethro Tull” Nadir
-lip gloss, Sour Cherry
-Guitar Center application
Fun factor: Off the chart
Disappointment factor: High
Drunk factor: Extremely, totally guaranteed
Directions:
*can also play Sandoval Slammer. each time Panda fumbles, charge at burrito like Aretha Franklin at chinese buffet.
Thingz that go 2 great lenths: my pitches. My “randy” Johnson. How far I will travel to get the best cab cakes when I’m jonesin’. @#LMAO
April 11
Hangin’ w/homeyz Adrian Grenier, Jeremy Piven & Christopher Reeve THUGZ FOR LYFE!
April 11
O snap! scratch that last tweet, bitchez. Somebody just told me Chris Reeve is dead! #@LOL sorry homes! ICE COLD!
April 14
In AZ actin’ CRAZ-Y/when I’m on da mound check my stance/teen girls all up in my pants/see my fast balls u better duck/126mill even though i
April 16
@ThugStudiosLA to record new single. Intro’d to singer named Enya. “Enya? I hardly know ya!” LMFAO@# MONEY!
Mar 22
YEA BOYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! CHIcKen wings delivers!
Mar 21
@Rite-Aid in Wilshire. Anybody know where to get paternity tests? Holla @ me!
Mar 17
Jean shorts RULE! @$$$
Mar 2
New developments in the March 31, 2011 alleged car accident that put Giants pitcher Barry Zito in the hospital overnight:
Police found no skid marks or evidence that the second driver, Dino “knee caps” DiNardo, made any attempt to stop.
A photo captured by the stoplight camera just prior to the crash has been released.
Officials are investigating a new possible motive as Dino “knee caps” remains in questioning.
1. BRUCE JENNER’S SWEATBAND
2. HUEY’S HAIRBALL COLLECTION
3. A DUMB BABY
4. LEFTOVERS
5. YOUR MOM’S MIXED TAPES
6. THE METS
‘Break Ya Ankles’ -ft. Shawty Lo
‘Once You Had Gold’ -Enya
‘If I Could Turn Back Time’ -Cher
‘Crash’ -Dave Matthews
‘These Arms of Mine’ -Otis Redding
‘Hold On for One More Day’ -Wilson Phillips
Jeremy Piven making laser sounds with his mouth
‘Rainbow Connection’ -Kermit
‘Slow Hand’ -The Pointer Sisters
‘I Love L.A.’ -Randy Newman
Early morning dew
Sunrise, a small bird fleeting
Much like my career.
A bowl of milk + a midget in one shoe on a skateboard + a recording of Jeremy Piven making laser sounds with his mouth + a picture of Tara Reid
Shake vigorously. Spread liberally.
